Many times it is spoken of negative consequences of using an authoritarian or overly demanding style of education with the children ... And it is said that this type of children who receive this education learn to be tyrants.
As a result of having received this type of education, a type of 'modern' parents may appear who think that limits, schedules and rules can trauma children taking their own experiences as a reference. And it is that, generally, authority is confused with authoritarianism. When authority is exercised, the child is indirectly told that the parents know what is best for him. And before exercising this authority a bond of trust has been created and a framework where content is felt, framework that does not exist if we are too permissive.
Being permissive implies not setting limits and that means not offering them some margins in which to experiment with their freedom and this will have consequences:
1. Risk of behavioral problems because of not having set rules and limits on time.
2. Without the good guidance of parents and with too much freedom children won't learn enough social skills to solve the problems by themselves.
3. Children can have problems with self-esteem and insecurity.
4. Being permissive brings with it the lack of routines that make the little ones become lazy children without awareness of their responsibilities.
5. In addition, the lack of limits will make children impulsive, immature and uncontrolled.
6. When there is an obsession on the part of parents to give their children everything that they did not have as children. Love is confused with constant giving all the whims to the children. Thus, children get used to doing what they want and lose sight of the reference to authority
Rules and limits, far from being negative, are totally necessary since it is the way for children to understand the consequences of their actions, to be able to instill values in them.
Therefore, it is essential that there is a balance between permissive education and authoritarian education, setting the rules and limits but with flexibility, affection and respect for children.
Having 'suffered' an education based in an extreme way on authoritarianism can make us too permissive later when it comes to us to act in the role of parents. But there are other reasons that lead us to be overly permissive parents with our children:
- Parents whose children that were no longer planned or who have a great age difference with their older siblings. Sometimes parents are already older or are tired from the wear and tear of the education of their first children.
- Very busy parents: those who do not have the time to act as parents so the feeling of guilt overwhelms them. Sometimes in addition to being permissive, they are compensatory.
- When they become parents when they are very young and want to continue living at the rhythm of their single friends, leaving their children in the care of someone else
By being permissive with the little ones, we will make them impulsive and intolerant among other consequences. It is important as parents that we teach children the skills necessary to socialize since we are not on the right track. It is in the childhood stage the right time to correct this type of behavior, since when they are adolescents their personality will be fully formed and it will be much more difficult.
To do this, in addition to being patient, calm, reasonable and thoughtful, we must set limits without being aggressive but firmly.
You can read more articles similar to Errors of permissive parents, in the category Limits - Discipline on site.