Do you remember what the Tambor bunny says to Bambi? "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it." We could now apply the advice more times! ... Children often have no qualms about making firewood from the fallen tree.
When one of my children hears us reprimand his brother, he does not hesitate to add fuel to the fire, adding something against him. My husband always tells them that it doesn't matter what we tell him, they always have to defend or support his brother.
It is said that children are cruel, but it depends on us if they are not. The other day my son told me, smiling, that a friend of his called Moby Dick (the name of the whale that gives name to Melville's novel) to a cook from his school who is obese. It is clear that it was an expression that he learned from an adult and made his own.
Many times, it is the older ones who negatively influence our children! The fact is that I felt terrible when he told me about it, and I took the opportunity to teach my children to understand, not to judge and to put ourselves in the shoes of others, asking them if they would like to be insulted like that.
Is not easy teach children not to criticize and to be kind and respectful to others (be they old, young, young or old) because we ourselves, many times, are not. The family is the germ of love and understanding, and in a loving family climate, value judgments have no place.
As the child grows, he will learn and extend the love lived at home to other areas. We should continue to learn and correct ourselves throughout life, be cautious in our judgments, and always be kind. It would be great if we could reach out to others with a mind clear of prejudice and with a heart full of kindness. Criticisms, rumors, falsehoods should be put into the drawer of oblivion as in this brief, although inspiring story that my father-in-law sent me.
The young disciple of a wise philosopher comes home and says:
-Master, a friend was speaking ill of you ...
Wait! the philosopher interrupts him. Did you put through the three bars what you are going to tell me?
-The three bars? Asked his disciple.
Yes. The first is the truth. Are you sure what you want to tell me is absolutely true?
-Do not. I heard him comment to some neighbors.
At least you will have put him through the second gate, which is goodness. What you want to tell me, is it good for someone?
-No, not really. Unlike...
Ah, well! The last gate is necessity. Is it necessary to let me know what worries you so much?
-To tell the truth, no. Then ... -said the wise man smiling-, if it is not true, neither good nor necessary, let's bury it in oblivion.
Patro Gabaldon. our site
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