Some parents insist on entering absurd competitions to show that their child is the best, or that they are the ones who take best care of him. The awareness of competitiveness that exists today overwhelms adults and this causes a struggle between them to see which child is the one who has achieved the most and the search for self-affirmation as parents.
Sometimes these comparisons will be without malicious intent, but other times they appear to provoke inferiority, to make others feel less, taking the form of attacks. These “aggressions”, in turn, cause great concern in parents who will believe that their child is lagging behind in their evolutionary development.
Parents want their children to be happy and ready for life. But in the anxiety of that search they drown in fear and insecurity for everything that surrounds them and look for answers in comparisons with other parents. They do not take into account that each child is a different world and the rhythm they take is different from that of others, which makes each child stand out or not in something.
Comparisons between children are unfair and unpleasant. These imply a reproach that the father makes to the child making him see that his effort is not enough. This demand makes the child frustrated. If the child is pressured to be the best it affects him negatively. With the competition that exists between parents to see who is the best, you can:
- Damage the child's self-esteem. Parents send a message to their child in which it is implied that their qualities are not valued and that those they have do not serve us. This makes children feel insecure.
- Rivalry with other children is created. With competition we can only destroy the relationships that children have with their peers. (The presence of bullying is encouraged)
For all parents, their child is the most handsome, the friendliest, the best behaved in the park, etc. From the moment children are born, their parents enter into a competition to make others see how good their child is compared to others.
- The first comparison that occurs, especially in new mothers, is the of the baby's weight. Growth percentiles take the character of classification of a sports league in which your child will win the league or go down to the second division.
- Then the comparisons focus on the parents' desire for their children to walk before the end of the year. This competition can affect the motor development of the child since if it is forced to stand up before it crawls well it can damage its hips. Your skeletal and nervous systems have to be ready for it to happen.
- Then comes the competition on the toilet training. To achieve this, neurological maturation is necessary. Doing it earlier can be counterproductive.
- Teeth exit it is another issue for which you compete. Some children get it in the first months and others who are one year old are still toothless. The teeth also appear at a maturational and biological level. The fact that parents educate in one way or another has nothing to do with it.
- You also compete for the child's communication level. Some children who feel the need to communicate and others are calmer and do not need it at the moment.
- Later appear the competitions in school and sports. The attitude of parents Children mature each in their own way and it is a mistake to compare children for something that we cannot control and compete for it.
Therefore, the important thing is that given all the maturational skills that appear in the child what first is the importance of the child being healthy and happy and not that he demonstrates those kinds of skills quickly or before others.
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