What is the most important thing to teach a child? Some time ago I was asked this question on the occasion of Mother's Day. Of course the first thing I said to myself was Why me? I already have enough stress in my life to add to the stress of having to face such a difficult question. But since no one said parenting would be easy, I decided to take up the challenge. And after thinking about it a bit, I found the answer.
The most important thing we should teach our children is to take responsibility for their own lives. Namely that they will not be able to control all the circumstances of their life, but they are free to control how they react to them. That is the difference between being or feeling victims or between knowing that achieving what they set out to do - whatever it is - is up to them. The answer is not accidental. In Logotherapy, responsibility is one of the pillars of the thought of Viktor Frankl, creator of this current.
We all have the ability and potential to achieve our dreams, no matter how distant they may seem. We are all bright, bold and creative, just for the sake of being human. We have all been blessed with talents. There are no people touched with a magic wand and others who were not. It is true that some have easier conditions than others, but each person who achieved something great had to sacrifice a lot for it: great singers, writers, athletes. When boys are teenagers, it is good for them to start reading biographies or if they prefer series or movies, access those of their favorite stars so that they understand that medals and success are a result, not a gift.
I remember watching a TV show about Shakira where she counted the number of times her songs were rejected by record companies early in her career. Lionel Messi was born with a physical problem that required him to undergo weekly injections to stimulate growth. Pep Guardiola was accused of doping while he was a player. We all have difficulties at some point, but we must emerge stronger from difficult circumstances to have more energy to invest in our dreams. From a very young age, children should know that nothing falls from the sky, we must encourage them to generate small achievements and congratulate them for them and repeat a thousand times: "You can"
If during the school period the teachers want to make them see that they are mediocre because they fail in some subject, you as a mother should remind them that a fall is not failure. That some people have difficulties in school, but that does not prevent them from a fulfilling adult life. And encourage him to practice what he is good at: sports, music, art, mechanics, computers, etc.
We all have better periods and worse periods, because there are no people who throughout their lives should not face adversity. The impossible is what is not tried. Boys should know that taking care of their body, doing sports and eating a good diet is what will allow them to be healthy to achieve their goals. Explain that they should set goals and take steps toward the goal, even if more than once they have to take one step forward and two steps back.
I believe that Anyone who internalizes this message is prepared to face the world, so I fervently hope my kids got it. (And if not, I still have a few years to insist.
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