Being a parent is the most difficult task you will ever face in your life, and that implies a high level of stress and developing a bomb-proof patience when your children take you to the extreme. That's when you decide to stop, cut your losses, slap the child and you all end up feeling guilty and sad.
In summary, the children have not learned anything about their bad behavior and also they have moved away a little more from you; you have momentarily unburdened but you feel sad and with the thought that you could have done something better. But the worst thing is that many times we do not find other alternatives to the problem.
In Guiainfantil.com We give you some tips so that you take them into account before executing a physical punishment.
1- Think that you are the adult and therefore you have many more tools than your child to solve problems. When you hit your son, you are teaching him that the way to solve conflicts is through violence; when surely what you try is to instill the opposite.
When your patience is at its limit, try taking two or three deep breaths and keeping in mind "I am an educator, not a punisher", your child hopes to get an adult response from you. If it is necessary to solve a bad behavior instantly, try to separate the child from the conflict, it is important that you do it calmly, and seat him in a place where you can both calm down. If you are too upset, do not talk to him immediately and go somewhere else where you can relax too. When the spirits have calmed down, return to try to solve the problem through dialogue.
2- The privative punishment or the educational consequence is our best ally to avoid hitting the childAlthough many times it is not the best way to educate, but at least we will not be talking about physical violence. Normally, it is enough to warn about the consequences if you continue with your attitude, but above all giving an explanation about why you should not act like this, in a calm way and looking the child in the eyes, is usually the most effective way to solve the conflict. The more information the more understanding on the part of the child.
3- Punishment must be done with a cool head and always be carried out. It cannot be punished if it cannot be carried out: ‘you stay a month without watching television’ or ‘we do not go out all weekend’, because you will have to break your punishment and next time it will not be effective. In addition, the punishment must be something exceptional, if it becomes recurrent, then the child is trying to draw attention to a more serious hidden problem.
4- Punish immediately. You should not leave the punishment for when you think about it, because the child needs to know why he is being punished before he forgets it, otherwise it will be worth nothing and will only have a desire for revenge towards you instead of relating it to a consequence of his actions .
5- The so-called natural punishment is the most effective because he is teaching the child that his actions have consequences: if the irresponsible child forgets to bring breakfast to school, he will be hungry; The same happens if you do not have your homework done, or you fight with your colleagues.
6- It encourages their autonomy. Children are often delighted when they have to help or are given responsibilities. You try to give them responsibility for something that they normally get into trouble with like dressing or brushing their teeth.
7- But if you really want to tackle the problem in a moment of stress, it is best to do the opposite of what you feel at that moment. If you are on the edge of the abyss because your child has misbehaved, go to him, hug him, talk to him with affection, show him that you love him and that you want to help him, that you are his best friend and try to put yourself in his situation. The child will be surprised by your reaction and will understand that you are someone to trust and not a person who attacks him when he needs help the most.
8- Give him time, because in the end the physical or verbal punishment is due to the lack of time we have to educate our children in an adequate way and, therefore, it is a quick way to solve a problem, although it really takes them away from us.
You can read more articles similar to Eight alternatives to avoid hitting your children, in the category of Punishments on site.