The mistake of educating the child in guilt

What does it mean to educate in guilt? Guilt is an emotion that warns us that we have made a mistake and that prepares us for a possible punishment, being, most of the time, the feeling generated by the guilt itself a punishment itself. It is a form of repentance, which also carries a moral assessment by society or family, based on inherited beliefs.

It is a punishment tool inherited from generation to generation and to which we are so used that we put it into practice daily with our children without even realizing it. Nevertheless, guilt prevents the correct psychological and emotional development of the child. Each one of us knows what bothered us when we were little, however when it comes to putting it into practice we continue to make the same mistakes that they made with us because we don't know how to deal with problems other than in the known way.

1.- Generating guilt in the child means create a rejection idea by family or society if they do not behave appropriately. Therefore, on many occasions, when the feeling is very pronounced, it can generate an idea of ‚Äč‚Äčabandonment in the child: "I will not love you if you behave like this", "because you make mother sad" ... and what a the long one creates in the child a feeling of detachment.

2.- Create feelings of fear, anxiety, or depression when this education is extended in time, transforming into a demand for excessive responsibility, together with self-punishment and constant sadness in the individual.

3.- On the other hand, there are children who, contrary to assuming extreme guilt, they refuse to accept any kind of mistake, Deriving it to their environment, to others, or to fortuitous situations. This causes the child to become immature and unable to assume responsibilities throughout his life.

4.- The personality of a child who is burdened with a constant feeling of guilt is the low self-esteem anyways; either because he has a negative assessment of himself or because he sees himself as a misfit within society or the family.

5.- They are usually children who they become too demanding of themselves, hypersensitive to fear of rejection, unable to defend themselves from external aggressions; or on the contrary, individuals incapable of assuming responsibilities, who refuse to be able to enjoy the moment, who do not tolerate frustration, with low capacity to empathize and conflict with the environment by which they feel attacked.

The education of guilt is shown as something archaic compared to education based on reason and reflection. Knowing something in depth means respecting it. Therefore, this type of education must be replaced by that based on respect; since guilt blocks us and distresses us; while responsibility helps us to grow, reflect and learn.

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Video: Letting Go Of Guilt - How To Get Rid Of Guilt Instantly (August 2021).