Sarcasm, a dangerous weapon with children

We may think that sarcasm is a good way of saying things to our children; apparently it brings humor and our face does not reflect that uncontrollable anger that we feel at times, so we think: "Much better than a scream or a pouting, right?"

However, nothing could be further from the truth. Sarcasm is a dangerous double-edged weapon, and that, surely, we have learned from our parents, that is why it seems so natural to us, and even fun. Here are several reasons why you should not use sarcasm with your children.

1- It hurts their feelings: When you use sarcasm the real message you convey is negative, and depending on the phrase you use, you can hurt their feelings. It looks great in the famous phrase: "are you stupid or what?", When what you mean is: "I hope you understand me."

2- It takes you away from your children: The irony masks your true feelings, you are really teaching the child to lie with humor; to not express with your body and gestures what you really want to say, what the child will not understand properly and, therefore, will not feel any kind of empathy with you, or attachment.

3- It is a lack of respect: The way you say things matters a lot. Sarcasm tends to imply a lack of respect even to say things with a positive message; For example, when you say to your son: "How ugly you are" when you want to say: "you are beautiful." Your child will learn to use this sarcasm with you and with others, and you will soon see that this lack of respect turns on yourself, in addition to complicating communication with others.

4- It generates insecurity: Your face and your gestures do not reflect what you really mean. The child, especially if he is very young, may not understand your message and misinterpret it. You will surely feel confused and will not know if it is a joke or you are really doing something wrong. Use the phrases in a positive tone and above all sincere; Instead of: "Do you think I am your slave?", it is better to say: "You can do it yourself."

5- Destroy empathy: Empathy is one of the most important skills your child must learn throughout his life. Putting yourself in the other's situation is vital to be able to resolve conflicts effectively and in a positive way for both parties; by using sarcasm the other cannot perceive the true feelings of the speaker and, therefore, cannot put himself in his situation. Sarcasm is not a sincere feeling, empathy is.

6- You stand above him: When we communicate through sarcasm, we are putting ourselves above the person we are speaking to, who is usually dislocated by our phrase or attitude, and does not usually find the appropriate response to combat it. It is not a good place to start a dialogue, especially if we want our children to learn something.

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