Criticizing is something innate in the human being. It can be done in a positive way or to destroy. The first seeks to help the person to improve a situation while maintaining objectivity and without being loaded with feelings. The negative seeks the opposite being su essence to harm, regardless of what the consequences are.
People who use negative criticism are those unable to observe that they themselves are responsible for their mistakes and blame them on other individuals from outside.
There are parents who idealize their children, in such a way that in order to make them see how perfect they are, they teach them to see the defects outside, criticizing and exaggerating things. In this way the parents actually override them. In this type of children there is poor self-esteem, since they will learn to live pending the approval that others give them and to fulfill the expectations that others have of them.
Therefore, the love they receive from their parents is conditioned by the satisfaction of these expectations, for example, being the best in school. Thus, when the child does not reach them, he refuses to admit his own shortcomings and therefore dedicates himself to projecting them on others to feel better. By not being accepted for being the way he is with his defects in the family, the child learns to be superficial and someone who is not transparent.
Children criticize others in order to exercise their power, increase your self-esteem or attract the attention of others. Another reason children gossip or criticize others for their lack of conflict resolution skills.
- Evaluate what is happening. It is important to know why the child behaves like this. Ask yourself if your child feels safe, knowing that they can ask for help when they need it. In addition, parents must make sure that they do not have their own expectations for their child's behavior and that these are not too high.
- Avoid being a participant in criticism. When the child criticizes someone, it is not necessary to stand by their side, not only will this behavior be reinforced, but the adult will be an accessory to the unfair treatment that is given to the other party. If the father avoids meddling, the son will understand that he must solve problems from another perspective.
- Explore alternatives. The child needs to be guided and alternatives to overcome obstacles. Criticizing others should not be the solution to your problems. When faced with a difficulty, sympathize with their feelings, ask how they feel and then help them by practicing alternatives such as trying harder.
- Teach him to focus criticism. Banish negative criticism and turn it into positive self-criticism. Healthy criticism allows self-evaluation and recognition of one's own deficiencies. It is valuable for personal growth and is the engine of improvement.
- That he learns to be autonomous. The goal is for the child to develop the ability to solve their problems. When it is seen that the child makes negative criticisms, the child must be helped to think about possible solutions.
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