Preschooler

Only good answer when the child says he hates you


"I hate you" or in a milder version "I don't like you, go away" - these are words that can hurt like the sharpest knife. Especially if they are spoken by a child. When you hear them, you may be surprised at your reaction. It is typical anger, sadness, resignation and even a sense of failure. Sometimes there is a need for retaliation, punishment of a child or injury - for example. There is a thought - what did I do, I deserve it, really? However, before you say something you will regret, read why your child says he hates you and what to do when you hear these words.

The child says he hates you because he doesn't know what he is saying

Children often reach for different "strong" words and sentences, without knowing their significance, without realizing their weight. Sometimes they decide to use them at the moment because they are steeped in anger and want to show their parent how nervous they are. Top-of-the-range words seem to be the most typical to express how a child is lost, how it feels hurt, or treated improperly.

A few people shouting "I hate you" rarely know what this means. Closer to this message to say: "I do not like you at the moment because you do this to me!", Because you prohibit, do not allow, etc.

It's bad and wants to relax

In emotions, even adults sometimes say unpleasant things, say sentences that we later regret. When the anger escapes, we realize that we have buried ourselves, that we don't really feel that we have said a few words too much. That is why we are not surprised at the child that he cannot fully control what he is saying.

When a toddler is angry, he is torn by emotions, which he tries to deal with. The more it hurts you and the more unbearable it is, the more it needs you. Don't leave, don't be angry look at the nervous child with empathy and accept his feelings.

A couple have the right to be angry. You too. Set a good example and show how to deal with difficult emotions.

Because he feels hurt and needs your help

The child says that he hates because he feels that the solution is unfair and is badly hurt. Because subconsciously wants to get confirmation of parental acceptance. The child wants to feel that he is loved. At any time, even if he screams that he hates you. The only good answer to such a confession is saying, "And I love you. I see that you are nervous, it's understandable, because I didn't let you ... We can handle these emotions. "

Keep calm, look with love. I know how difficult it is. It's easier to get carried away, take care of the wound and show the child who rules here. It's easier to scare the child and force an apology instead of really understanding what's going on. Because when a child is "difficult", he calls for help, forces you to react, is lost and needs you the most.

Every parent should learn distance for their own mental health. Do not shout "I hate you" to yourself. The more you show your anger or sadness, the greater the risk that your toddler will like similar comments. If a child sees a peaceful parent and notices that you are trying to solve a problem that is the source of unpleasant words, he will learn to control his emotions faster.