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"Live in a family and survive"

"Living in a family and survive", a world bestseller I have recently read, is so addictive that it was difficult for me to tear myself away from it. I read the individual chapters eagerly, raising my eyebrows in surprise, admitting the authors in the right or arguing, not believing that everything is so simple and obvious. It turns out, however, that the guide, despite dozens of threads that run through almost 400 pages, creates one whole, inspirational and full of secrets. The authors sometimes treat reality too simply, but this one flaw is of little importance in a sea of ​​many positives for which this book is worth reading.

Authors and subject

"Live in a family and survive" is a publication by a brilliant duo - Robin Skynner (British psychotherapist) and John Cleese (English comedy actor). This is the publication that everyone should readbecause it touches on a lot of interesting threads.

It is dedicated not only to parents, but to all who have a family, i.e. most people in the world.

It addresses issues that affect each of us: the way of pairing (i.e. explaining the eternal question: are we related on the basis of similarity or maybe opposites), how does the relationship look at the beginning, how does it change later, in what models can partners live, what roles (!) do they play and why for their most important health is that nothing changes. The authors then consider child development, over the subsequent stages that the child goes through: discovering corporeality, the Oedipus phase, which falls between 3 and 6 years of age, i.e. the time of infatuation with the parent of the opposite sex, the latency and puberty phase. They do not describe these phases explaining the following changes, but they wonder how much they influence adulthood, later life choices and fate. Robin Skynner in an interesting way explains the causes of many mental illnesses and changes in sexual orientation based on changes in the family.


Robin Skynner, an experienced psychiatrist, shares his insights and theses that he came to, observing hundreds of families. Explains the maturation of parents and children, what actually changes after the birth of a child, why a man really feels rejected, explains why parents must be imperfect (only in this way they give the child a chance to grow up) and why the most important thing for parents should be not so much as the children, but the relationship between them alone. Paradoxically, this arrangement is also best for children. When the little ones know that parents are supportive of themselves and they are unable to enter this system, they feel safe.

Attention should be made here. Many of the author's views may seem controversial, incomprehensible and sometimes unbelievable, but giving Skunner a chance to explain them, it suddenly turns out that they are not meaningless.


"Living in a family and survive" is a reflection in the form of a dialogue, thanks to which the guidebook reads like a conversation, which allows you to get answers to emerging questions on a regular basis and to gather and summarize knowledge.

It is a book that you remember for a long time. I would recommend!

Thank you to the Czarna Owca Publishing House for providing a copy of the review book.