"Words give power" is not only the watchword of the Nobody's Children Foundation campaign, but also specific sentences that change reality. You do not believe?
What sentence have power?
I love to look when you ...
Many stories of well-known athletes, musicians, artists and people who have made a special mark on the pages of history indicate how important their parents' wise attitude was. In many situations, it was enough that mom or dad did not disturb focusing on comparing the results of a son or daughter with the achievements of other children. He did not pay attention to the tables thatinstructions, what at a given stage of development is the "key to success", without unnecessary advice given in time and hidden messages "you are not good enough".
It was enough to say "I love to look when you have a great time playing football", "I love to listen when you play", to give a beautiful and simple message, "I am happy for you." Without the need to correct, improve and indicate what to do, what to do, what to change to make it "better".
The child we will tell "I like to look when you ..." is noticed in a special way. Usually, by itself, it doubles its efforts to achieve perfection in what it loves to do. And when it doesn't count the time spent on a given activity, it naturally learns more and more.
It's not easy, try it
It is not about that the child always succeeds. It's impossible. Rather, the toddler should try and not give up at the very beginning.
How to encourage a child to try to do something that seems difficult for him?
Saying "it's simple", we risk that when a toddler fails to perform an activity, he will feel the bitter taste of losing, which will additionally overwhelm the thought: "like this, I did not manage, and it was simple, so say parents ... if I did not advice, it makes no sense to try. I can't even deal with simple tasks ... "
On the other hand, when we say "it is not easy, but try", then when the task succeeds, the child will be doubly satisfied (after all, it was not easy), and if it fails, there will be satisfaction that he tried and the feeling, that it might not come out because it wasn't easy.
In any case, the toddler will learn something valuable and will not be discouraged at the very beginning. On the contrary: it will stay positively motivated.
I believe in you
"What you, only a few can achieve success", "Do not deal with stupid things, take something that will be useful to you in life", "It's too difficult for you, do it better."
Many parents fall into the trap of winging their children before they actually fly. The belief that you know better comes from believing that you will save your child from disappointment. Unfortunately, the opposite is done: it takes its chance at the start.
It is worth supporting children's fantasies by saying "I believe in you", "when you want something, the world is open", etc.
Support from parents from the first years of life gives the child real opportunities and courage needed to make his dreams come true. Toddler builds confidence, which, combined with the knowledge that hard work, patience and a bit of luck are needed for real success, will allow the child to set a goal and achieve it, and then feel satisfied that he succeeded.
Children need nothing more than understanding. When a toddler comes in tears because he broke his knee, instead of morals, it is better to bite his tongue, hug, kiss. Even if we warned 15 minutes earlier that fun could end up falling.
Showing acceptance and understanding gives a good foundation for further conversations and for the child to notice their mistake. The toddler is not much different from an adult. What do we need when we sometimes make a mistake? Do we expect criticism, depression, and stress that we are useless for anything? Do we want negative messages to be spoken by people closest to us? When we are late for the bus, we receive a ticket for too fast a ride or stumble during a walk, we certainly do not wait for comments: "you could leave earlier", "you ride like a pirate" or "watch how you walk because you see that soon you will fall over. "
Everyone gets mistakes. When the other person shows understanding for them, it will give an excellent introduction to conversations and self-reflection in a place of rejection and a sense of loneliness.
You say: you create
There is a reason why guides in the categories "how to talk", "how to listen" and "how to understand" are sold in thousands of copies. We intuitively know that what we say is of great importance. Especially for children who are specialists in reading our emotions, quickly interpret reality and evaluate, based on feedback, what really matters in life.
Therefore, let's talk less, listen more, and when we say something, we weigh the words.